Egglock (Crack Fanfic)
by MakennaRoth
Summary: Just some random crack fanfic inspired by an egg drop in physics class. Sherlock, egg-ified!


** [A/N: DISCLAIMER! This is crack fanfic. Completely made up by me and my mad bestie, inspired by our egg drop experiment in physics class. We don't, sadly, own BBC'S Sherlock or any of the characters. (Although we claim all rights to "Egglock".) So it's basically Sherlock…egg-ified, and with a few changes just because it's crack fanfiction and we can do whatever we want. I hope you appreciate this because it was very difficult for us to work out how we wanted to do this! Enjoy. :)]**

—**MakennaRoth (And my bestie, LillithOwsald)**

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><p><em><strong>Starring: Egglock Holmes. John Eggson. Jim Morieggy. Meggy Hooper. Egg Lestrade. Sally Eggovan. Mrs. Eggson. Eggcroft Holmes. Eggson's Eggapist.<strong>_

_**Setting: St. Egg's Hospital Roof**_

**Egglock—Part One: **_**The Reggenbach Fall**_

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><p>Egglock had known it was coming. The Reggenbach fall. He had known from the moment Morieggy had told him " fall".<p>

"You think you can convince me to call off the snipers? Egglock, your big brother and all the King's horses couldn't make me do a thing I didn't want to," Morieggy was saying to him.

_Egglock stood on the ledge of the wall. Egglock had a great fall. All Eggcroft's horses, and all Eggcroft's men, couldn't put Egglock together again _ran through his mind like a sick, twisted nursery rhyme.

"Except that I am not my brother, am I? I'm you," he said as he glared at Morieggy. "Prepared to do anything—prepared to fry. Prepared to do what ordinary eggs won't. You want me to bump shells in hell, I shall not disappoint you."

"Hm…nah. You talk big, but you're ordinary. You're on the side of ange—"

It came out of nowhere. One minute they were talking. The next, a shadow loomed over them, seeming to block out the sun. A sharp cracking sound cut off Morieggy's voice as the gigantic foot came down sharply on top of him. Egglock stared in horror—that egg had been his last hope and there he was, lying squished, on the pavement.

Now that Morieggy was dead…there was no way out. He would have to do it. He had to fall. Had to save John Eggson, and Mrs. Eggson, and Egg Lestrade…of course he would fall for them, no questions asked. They just…they had to believe it.

His mind raced as he rolled to the edge of the roof and peered over. He looked down, and the height was dizzying. He felt like he was going to be sick...

_There. _He could see John Eggson, just getting out of the cab. He would have to convince him, somehow…

He let his mind wander as he waited, only to be brought sharply back to reality by the sound of someone rolling behind him. Hesitantly, he turned around, dreading having to pull off what he knew would have to be the performance of his lifetime. He could barely look at Eggson without breaking down and telling him everything. But no…he had to do this. Had to do this, for Eggson. Had to save him.

"Egglock, are you okay?" came Eggson's worried voice as he cautiously rolled closer. He stopped when Egglock rolled closer to the edge, sounding slightly afraid now. "Why are you so close to the edge? Please—step back. What's going on?" he asked as he seemed to finally take in the crushed shell of Morieggy, oozing yolk on the pavement.

"An…an apology," Egglock muttered, barely able to speak. He was so afraid, he felt like he was breaking apart inside. He felt scrambled, but _he had to do this._ "It's all true, Eggson."

"What?" he said blankly. Either not understanding what Egglock was saying, or not believing it, Egglock wasn't sure.

"Everything they said about me. I invented Morieggy."

"Why are you saying this? Stop it, stop it now—"

"I'm a fake. I'm sorry for leading you on."

"Egglock, don't—this isn't—stop it, stop this nonsense right now," Eggson growled at him, feeling beaten and near the cracking point.

"I want you to tell Egg Lestrade. And Mrs. Eggson," Egglock continued, as if Eggson hadn't even spoken. He had to keep going, or he wouldn't be able to follow through. "In fact, tell anyone who will listen. Egglock Holmes was a fraud. Tell them all that I created Morieggy for my own purposes."

"Okay, shut up, Egglock. Shut up. The first time we met—_the first time we met_—you knew all about my sister, right?"

"Nobody could be that clever, Eggson," Egglock replied tiredly.

"You could!" he practically sobbed.

"I researched you. Before we met I discovered everything that I could to impress you. It's a trick. It's just a magic trick. I fooled you all."

"No, stop it. Why are you saying this?" he asked, once more trying to roll closer.

"No," Egglock snapped, taking another partial roll towards the edge. "Don't roll any closer—stay exactly where you are."

Eggson halted. "Egglock—"

"Just—just tell everyone for me, will you? Will you do this for me?"

"Egglock stop this right now!"

"This conversation—it's my note. That's what you do, isn't it, leave a note?"

"Note? What note? Why do you need a note?" Eggson's tones were nearing panic now, Egglock knew he had to wrap this up quickly.

"Goodbye, Eggson." With those last two words, Egglock took his final roll off the edge.

"No—EGGLOCK!" Eggson screamed, rolling to the edge. He watched his best friend, his nestmate, fall. And fall…and fall…until finally slamming into the pavement below.

He rolled down as fast as he could. By the time he got there the area was swarming with medics. He tried to shove his way through, his yolk aching from fear and shock.

"Let me through. Let me through, I'm his friend. LET ME THROUGH!" he practically screamed, rolling carelessly over other eggs to get to Egglock.

The sight sickened him—his shell was cracked right along the top, yellow yolk seeping out of the crack.

"No…Oh god, no…" He mumbled, his vision blurring. His vision was scrambled, his mind went blank.

_Egglock was dead._

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><p>It has been a month. One month since...since everything.<p>

Eggson was standing at Egglock's grave. Mrs. Eggson had just left to give him some privacy, to…say what needed saying. He rolled forward until he could gently bump against the headstone, his breathing shaky as he fought the urge to scream, or sob.

"Right. So…my—my Eggapist said I should do this, said I needed to…to get this out. So—you…you told me once that you weren't a hero. I don't believe it—because you saved me, Egglock. Saved me so many times, and in so many ways…I don't know how to go on without you. The nest feels so empty without you, it's far too quiet when you're gone. You were loud and obnoxious and the most aggravating egg I ever had the misfortune of meeting. But…you were my best friend, and my hero. I owe you so much. So…there."

Exhaling shakily, he started to turn away. But he paused and turned back, one more time. "And…Egglock? Please, just…one more thing. One more miracle, just for me. Don't be—dead." He could barely choke the word out. "Just—stop this, stop this please. Stop being dead, just for me."

With nothing left to say, Eggson rolled away to meet Mrs. Eggson, so they could begin to figure out how to get on with their lives.

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><p><strong>[AN: So. Part one of our first-ever crack fanfic. Surprisingly difficult to write, but many laughs ensued. Hope you guys enjoyed it! Read and review, please. No review results in a from Morieggy. :)**

**-Makenna**

**This is part 1 out of 3 parts. Please review and comment on how you think Egglock survived the fall. Although the BBC is bringing Moriarty back, we are not!**

**-Lillith]**


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